When your girlfriend breaks up with you, it’s natural to feel rejected. If you’ve decided not to walk away from the relationship without a fight, the good news is that getting back an ex girlfriend is easier than you might think. The bad news? That you shouldn’t be fighting for your relationship at all… not if you want to one day date your ex again.
Know what conflict does? It begets more conflict. Which is why many times, after a guy gets dumped by his girlfriend, he digs the hole even deeper than it needs to be. If you’ve decided that you want your girlfriend back, you need to understand that “fighting to keep the relationship” is a silly, romantic notion. Maybe it works in the movies, but in real life? There’s only one real way to win her respect back, and it’s sure not going to be accomplished by fighting her on the break up.
Imagine you’re in your ex girlfriend’s shoes for a second. You just broke up with your boyfriend (you). This was a tough decision, and you thought long and hard about it. You dreaded the face-to-face confrontation, but you finally worked up the courage to do it. And now? You’ve told him it’s over… but hang on a second… he doesn’t accept it. In fact, he’s fighting you tooth and nail, telling you that you’re wrong, and that your decision to end things isn’t going to fly with him.
Getting your girlfriend back requires not making her angry or losing her respect. By accepting the break up, you’re essentially agreeing with her. Not only does this create a non-confrontational environment, but it also puts you in a position where you have some power and control back over what’s going on. On some levels, you’re rejecting her. This will be confusing to a girl who’s hellbent on breaking up with you. In fact, it’ll make her wonder if you felt unhappy in the relationship yourself, and for how long.
No matter what happens, when your ex breaks up with you – you’ll need to find out the reason why. To win back an ex girlfriend you must identify the behaviors that she’s unhappy with and see if you can correct them. Don’t place the blame fully on your own shoulders, but do make an effort to look honestly at the relationship. If you see areas where she’s right, let her know. Sometimes a girl just wants her thoughts and fears justified, and what better justification than coming from her boyfriend? While this might not reverse the break up right away, it’s the equivalent of taking a pretty big step back in the direction of making her want and need you back.
Creating an atmosphere where your girlfriend misses you is a crucial part of fixing your breakup. To get her back, she first must need you back. For this reason, you can’t put on a pitiful, depressed, or hopelessly needy front. No guy ever got his girlfriend back through pity… and if he did? It probably lasted all of 24 hours. Women want a man who’s tough, strong, and independent… not one who’s unsure, insecure, and lost without her. If you want to get back an ex girlfriend, you need to display the behaviors and personality traits that are attractive to begin with.
Leaving your ex alone for a while is also critical, especially just after the breakup occurs. Hounding your girlfriend with excessive phone calls or text messages is only going to push her away. In fact, you shouldn’t be contacting your ex at all. Not even an email, not even a “hello what’s up?” on her Facebook wall or Myspace page, or whatever else you might be thinking of doing. Do you miss your girlfriend? Do you want to call her up? Call your friends instead. Go out and do things that will get you mind off her as quickly as possible. The less she hears from you, the more your girlfriend will want you back. This is a simple but crazy rule of thumb that all break ups follow, no matter what your current circumstances might be.
Image by Emanuele Faja
We took a small family trip out earlier this year on a Sunday. My dad, my mum, my girlfriend and I. We got on the wrong train and ended up at Termini Imerese which is about 50km east of Palermo, Sicily. When we arrived we found that in the centre of town there was a vintage car show! This was my first ever roll shooting a half frame camera, the Olympus Pen Ees-2. Lovely little camera from the ’60s… just like some of these cars!
It’s quite strange shooting a half frame camera at first because when you hold the camere in a normal position the picture you see through the viewfinder is a portrait. I guess it makes one think a bit!
To increase your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back you have to play it smart. And it’s important for you to understand that some of things you are doing right now to win her back, even with the best of intentions, may actually be pushing her further away from you instead.
Now is the time to step back and take a look at the way you have been handling the situation up to now. Are you letting your emotions run away with you and keep you from thinking clearly? This is only going to make it worse and you will dig yourself into a deeper hole.
When the woman you really love and want in your life leaves you may start to panic. Your brain cells turn off and the heart takes over. So why do we feel so crazy when it comes love? The panic you’re feeling comes from the immediate loss of control you think you are experiencing – one minute all was right with the world and you and your girlfriend were together and the next minute you find yourself thrown into a world of unknowns. Even if you weren’t completely happy in the relationship, at least it was familiar. So you feel like your need to do something to regain that feeling of control and this can lead to desperation.
This feeling of desperation can cause you to exhibit the push away behaviors that make it much harder to get your ex girlfriend back. If you are arguing with her about wanting to break up or being angry with her for leaving, you will only widen the gap that’s already opened between you.
And every time you plead and beg with your girlfriend to come back to you it will only drive her further away. Even if you think that if she knew how much you love her and want her she would come rushing back into your open arms, you could find that you have pushed your ex girlfriend into the open arms of another man instead.
You must understand that you just cannot attract your girlfriend back when you are being depressed, angry or extremely needy!
Or perhaps you are thinking that you must do something soon because if you don’t show your ex girlfriend how much you care right now it might be too late to ever get her back. The truth is this will cause her to feel even more angry and alienated.
You really need to take a break and get a handle on your emotions, and start to get your head clear and become rational again. A brief cooling off period will give you and your ex girlfriend space to breath and take a look at what went wrong in the relationship, and it will be much easier to begin communicating effectively after there has been some time and distance between you both.
Even if you find that you have been making some big mistakes it’s never too late; so remember, time to take that step back and give yourself a break. Use this cooling off period to pull yourself together and learn a much SMARTER way of getting your ex girlfriend back!
Hi I’m Claire Tourney and I’d like to help you understand the BIG BLUNDERS you may be making right now in your break up and show you an effective, PROVEN PLAN for getting your ex girlfriend back. visit my Squidoo Lens Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back Now!
Smithfield, who stole my Dog
Image by monosnaps
A quirky image taken just before Christmas of a Poster Board on Benburb St in Dublin. Hope he found him as I’m sure his comments about favouring his dog over his girlfriend did not go down well. A Holga image on HP5 developed in ID11
Tons of men are searching for pointers on how to get a girlfriend. You don’t have to push yourself all that hard to have some degree of success with girls. Yes, you’ll need to know how to go about meeting women and how to get a date with a girl, but once you get the basics handled, getting a girlfriend is a bit more work.
First, don’t just settle for a woman because you want a girlfriend and she just happened to be the girl you are dating at the time. You don’t want to make a woman your girlfriend for this reason. It really isn’t fair for either of you. If you want a long-term relationship, then you just have to man-up and get rid of the women in your life that you figure out aren’t the kind of girls that you want in your life.
It may require some devoted self-improvement to become the kind of guy that is attractive to the girl that you truly desire. If you like artistic, creative girls, you might have a problem attracting them if you spend most of your time on the couch watching football and playing XBox.
Do two things. First, I want you to make a list of the top five things that you most want in a girlfriend. These traits can be anything you honestly want. A few examples could be “emotional openness,” “artistic personality,” “open to new things,” or even something as simple as “long legs.” The critical part is not lying to yourself. Now, write down five traits that you will not, under any conditions, put up with from any girl. I have seen guys list things like “too needy,” “infidelity,” “angry feminist,” or “unwilling to compromise.” These two lists can help you determine if a particular woman is right for you. Spend more time with girls that show the qualities that you want in a woman. She could be your next serious girlfriend. Also, keep your eyes open for the traits you want to avoid and stop seeing women that exhibit these qualities. This is probably the best tip I can give you on how to get a girlfriend worth keeping.
Secondly, you probably have some kind of notion about what your perfect girl is like. This might seem a little crazy, but try to see the world from her perspective. What kind of guy would she find attractive? What sorts of qualities does he have? Do you measure up to this? You should not try to be something you’re not, but you may need to start improving your life and your ambitions if there is a disconnect. You may need to overcome some personal obstacles and challenge your limits to naturally attract the girl you really want.
When you find a girl that is deserving of you, take things to the next level. It’s not hard to get a girlfriend. You want to find and keep a girlfriend that you can really enjoy and be happy with.
Image by Thomas Hawk
Top 10 Flickr Hacks, 2011 Edition. These are ways that you can enhance your Flickr experience through either tools developed outside of Flickr by independent developers or though little known ways that many don’t know about to use the site.
I’m an active Flickr user on a daily basis and am always on the lookout for ways to improve my own experience. If you have other hacks that you feel are valuable and know about, feel free to share them in the comments.
1. SuprSetr. Without a doubt the best piece of third-party software ever developed for Flickr. Flickr should buy this software from its developer Jeremy Brooks and integrate it into the entire Flickr experience. SuprSetr allows you to organize your sets on Flickr by keywords or tags. Let’s say (for instance) you want to make a set of all of your photos that you’ve taken in San Francisco (yes, all 17,000+ of them).
Simply tell SuprSetr to create a set by this tag and it will automatically build one for you. It can arrange the photos in your set by interestingness (flickr’s internal rating system based on a photo’s activity), by date taken or uploaded, or in no particular order. You have control over the main thumbnail for the set as well.
Jeremy hasn’t officially released it yet, but I’ve been testing the final 1.0 release and it’s the best version yet. It filters wicked fast.
I’m using SuprSetr to manage my almost 1,500 sets on Flickr and it works like a charm. This is a far more efficient way to manage your sets on Flickr than to manually organize each and every one by hand, having to add a photo to a set every single time you do another upload.
Jeremy’s also developed tagerator, a great tool to analyze your flickr tags, make tag clouds, and rank your tags by now many times they are used. I found tagerator a great tool to find misspelled tags of mine and correct them.
2. Flickr Non-Reciprocal Contacts Finder. When Flickr redid their contacts page, they took out some functionality that was in the beta in the final release due to "drama". What they took out was the ability to see who your non-reciprocal contacts are on Flickr. You know the type. They add you. You add them back. And then they dump and you didn’t even realize it. Or maybe it’s just that you weren’t aware that your so called friend of 3 years decided to unfriend you. Unfriending is messy business for any social network — especially when they want you to feel all warm and fuzzy about your time spent there.
What Flickr taketh away, Tom Harrison giveth back.
3. Google Reader. For over six years now Group Search on Flickr has been broken, badly. If you try to do a search for a term in a Group’s discussion threads, results are haphazard at best. Recently it seems that they may have stopped indexing group discussion threads entirely. A group that I started last week Hot Box Uncensored (go check it out, it’s the best new group on Flickr) returns zero results for search for every single keyword that I’ve been able to test thus far.
You would think that Yahoo, of all companies, would know a thing or two about indexing text for search, right? But apparently not.
To get around Yahoo/Flickr’s super poor ability to index Flickr Group discussions, simply get a subscription to your favorite group’s threads in Google Reader. Google are pure Pros at search (as opposed to those Yahoos at Yahoo) and get it right perfectly every time.
Going forward, any threads in a group discussion will be indexed for you in that RSS feed. Then you can search for a topic/discussion/etc. in your favorite group and get a link in reader right back to it perfectly thanks to Google’s wonderful reliability.
4. Favorite Finder. Want to know how many times someone’s faved your photos or how many times you’ve faved theirs? Want to see which photos your ex-girlfriend is faving of the new guy in her life (joking, joking, completely joking about that). Then check out Big Huge Lab’s Favorite Finder.
Big Huge Labs also has a pretty good app called Flickr DNA where you can put in any Flickr user’s name and it returns much more indepth information about them than the basic flickr profile page, including their most interesting photos on Flickr. You can check out my Flickr DNA profile here.
5. h4ppierphotos. Flickr’s organizer tool is good. But h4ppierphotos is even better at some things.
For example, let’s say you accidentally tagged all of your photos of your recent trip to the desert "dessert" (remember folks dessert has two s because you always like to go back for seconds). Presently with Flickr there is no way to go back and remove the 100 or so bad tags you made. You have to remove them one by one individually. This is where h4ppierphotos can be helpful. Simply tell h4ppierphotos to filter your photos with the tag that you want to remove and then have it remove all of them in bulk for you.
h4ppierphotos does lots of other things as well, want to do bulk date changes on your photos, or privacy or licensing settings? No problem.
6. FlickrMud. Is Flickr blocked at your work? Has your dictator’s regime decided to block your flickr? Is there some reason why you can’t get in Flickr through the front door at flickr.com? Then go in through the back door with Flickr’s unofficial alternate url world FlickrMud.
7. Fitr Flickr. Didn’t you just hate it when Yahoo shoved that Yahoo Corp. logo bug down our throats right up there on the top of every page next to the Flickr logo?
If you’re like me and hate the constant reminder that Yahoo owns Flickr, use Dan Pupius‘ Fitr Flickr Chrome Extension (you are using Chrome and not one of those "other" browsers right?) Dan wrote a nice little piece of code that just zaps that little Yahoo logo part out of existence for you (unless you hover over the logo).
But no, that’s not really the main reason to use Fitr Flickr. One of the nice things that Fitr Flickr does is shows a photo’s EXIF data information (where supplied by a user) in small unobtrusive text, right below the photo. Now instead of having to go hunt for a photos particular iso settings, etc. It’s right there for you where you need it. It also includes tag autocomplete functionality that you might find helpful when adding tags on your photos on Flickr as well.
8. Hacking Explore. For those of you not blacklisted from Explore (like I am), there are a couple of interesting tools for exploring Explore, Flickr’s section of their top 500 photos each day. First, you can use Scout to find out which of your own photos have appeared in Explore. Next if you want to filter all the "crap" out of explore and only have it return photos of your contact’s photos you can use Drew Meyer’s script to only show you photos from your contacts that have made it.
9. Get Rid of Paging on the Sets Pages. Don’t you just hate paging? I do. Paging sucks!
Flickr used to let you and other users see all of your sets on one page. Then they changed it to a miserly 30 sets per page and paged the sets page. To see all of my sets now I’d have to page through 50 pages (ugh!). This makes it especially hard when you have a lot of sets to find sets or just see everything at a glance.
To get around this limitation simply paste in the code (don’t use the quotation marks though) "?page=1&per_page=10000" at the end of any sets url on Flickr. This way you will get to see up to 10,000 of that users (or your own) sets on Flickr on a single page. For example to see all 1,490 of my sets on a single page go to my normal sets page with the code that I added on the end like this: www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/sets/?page=1&per_pag…
10. Rich text edit. Like bolding, italicizing, linking things, etc. in your comments on photos but hate having to manually type out the html code to do so? Then get this handy little rich text edit greasemonkey script which gives you a nice little menu at the top of your posts to use.
DID YOU KNOW THAT FLICKR WON’T LET YOU ENTER COMMENTS ON PHOTOS OR POSTS IN GROUP PAGES IN ALL CAPS? I’M NOT SURE WHY, BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY SOMEONE DECIDED THAT IF A USER ENTERS SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS THAT FLICKR WOULD AUTOMATICALLY TAKE THAT TEXT OUT OF ALL CAPS.
SO WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO SHOUT SOMETHING IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR YOU.
TO GET AROUND THIS SILLY LIMITATION, SIMPLY REPLACE ONE OF YOUR LARGE CAP I’S WITH A SMALL CAP L. IT LOOKS THE SAME TO THE USER BUT WITH THE SINGLE SMALL CAP L IN THERE IT ALLOWS YOU TO STILL SHOUT ON FLICKR IF YOU NEED TO.
Although Niles is all grown up he doesn’t quite know how to put his childhood behind him.
Song Used: https://soundcloud.com/irie_misstxkes/boy
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I’m Niles a YouTube comedian and Viner based in Maryland. On my page you will find funny sketches, parodies, videos with my mom, disappearing videos and vlogs. Make sure to subscribe if you like what you see. Thanks for checking out my channel. Video Rating: / 5