When your girlfriend breaks up with you, it’s natural to feel rejected. If you’ve decided not to walk away from the relationship without a fight, the good news is that getting back an ex girlfriend is easier than you might think. The bad news? That you shouldn’t be fighting for your relationship at all… not if you want to one day date your ex again.
Know what conflict does? It begets more conflict. Which is why many times, after a guy gets dumped by his girlfriend, he digs the hole even deeper than it needs to be. If you’ve decided that you want your girlfriend back, you need to understand that “fighting to keep the relationship” is a silly, romantic notion. Maybe it works in the movies, but in real life? There’s only one real way to win her respect back, and it’s sure not going to be accomplished by fighting her on the break up.
Imagine you’re in your ex girlfriend’s shoes for a second. You just broke up with your boyfriend (you). This was a tough decision, and you thought long and hard about it. You dreaded the face-to-face confrontation, but you finally worked up the courage to do it. And now? You’ve told him it’s over… but hang on a second… he doesn’t accept it. In fact, he’s fighting you tooth and nail, telling you that you’re wrong, and that your decision to end things isn’t going to fly with him.
Getting your girlfriend back requires not making her angry or losing her respect. By accepting the break up, you’re essentially agreeing with her. Not only does this create a non-confrontational environment, but it also puts you in a position where you have some power and control back over what’s going on. On some levels, you’re rejecting her. This will be confusing to a girl who’s hellbent on breaking up with you. In fact, it’ll make her wonder if you felt unhappy in the relationship yourself, and for how long.
No matter what happens, when your ex breaks up with you – you’ll need to find out the reason why. To win back an ex girlfriend you must identify the behaviors that she’s unhappy with and see if you can correct them. Don’t place the blame fully on your own shoulders, but do make an effort to look honestly at the relationship. If you see areas where she’s right, let her know. Sometimes a girl just wants her thoughts and fears justified, and what better justification than coming from her boyfriend? While this might not reverse the break up right away, it’s the equivalent of taking a pretty big step back in the direction of making her want and need you back.
Creating an atmosphere where your girlfriend misses you is a crucial part of fixing your breakup. To get her back, she first must need you back. For this reason, you can’t put on a pitiful, depressed, or hopelessly needy front. No guy ever got his girlfriend back through pity… and if he did? It probably lasted all of 24 hours. Women want a man who’s tough, strong, and independent… not one who’s unsure, insecure, and lost without her. If you want to get back an ex girlfriend, you need to display the behaviors and personality traits that are attractive to begin with.
Leaving your ex alone for a while is also critical, especially just after the breakup occurs. Hounding your girlfriend with excessive phone calls or text messages is only going to push her away. In fact, you shouldn’t be contacting your ex at all. Not even an email, not even a “hello what’s up?” on her Facebook wall or Myspace page, or whatever else you might be thinking of doing. Do you miss your girlfriend? Do you want to call her up? Call your friends instead. Go out and do things that will get you mind off her as quickly as possible. The less she hears from you, the more your girlfriend will want you back. This is a simple but crazy rule of thumb that all break ups follow, no matter what your current circumstances might be.
Inspecting a car
Image by Emanuele Faja
We took a small family trip out earlier this year on a Sunday. My dad, my mum, my girlfriend and I. We got on the wrong train and ended up at Termini Imerese which is about 50km east of Palermo, Sicily. When we arrived we found that in the centre of town there was a vintage car show! This was my first ever roll shooting a half frame camera, the Olympus Pen Ees-2. Lovely little camera from the ’60s… just like some of these cars!
It’s quite strange shooting a half frame camera at first because when you hold the camere in a normal position the picture you see through the viewfinder is a portrait. I guess it makes one think a bit!
[Olympus Pen Ees-2 + Kodak Gold 200]
Check out my blog on Photography :
Find More Find Girlfriend Articles